Seeing as how my last post was rather long I decided to give this recipe it's own space :)
My grandma found this awesome bread machine recipe book at a garage sale. She knows I love to bake so she kindly passed it on to me. This is the first and only recipe I have tried so far and it is indeed yummy! I'll write it out for you and then give you my variations:
For a 1 1/2 pound loaf ~
3/4 cup of apple juice
1/3 cup of applea sauce
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1 tablespoon honey
2 cups bread flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon active dry yeast or bread machine yeast
Select the loaf size. Add the ingredients to your machine according to the manufacturer's instructions. If available select the whole grain setting, or select the basic white bread cycle.
When I made it according to the recipe it was very good. But I am never one to follow a recipe :) So the second time I added more cinnamon. I am still trying to get it to come across with a stronger apple flavor. Right now it smells fabulous but the apple flavore isn't quite as strong as I would like. Also watch the dough. Usually within the first 45 minutes or so your machine will be forming the dough "ball". Lift the lid and check it. If the dough is really powedery and not forming a distinct ball, add more apple juice. If it is watery and not stikcing into a ball, add more flour.
I did not have bread or whole wheat flour on hand so I just used "better for bread machine" white flour.
Eli LOVES this bread. After 3 or 4 days it starts to go a little stale. So I take whatever is left and slice really thick pieces, and inch or more thick. I then take that piece and cut it again into three smaller "Strips", basically making a granola bar of sorts. He can walk around munching on those any time of the day. Perfection.
Enjoy! And let me know if you come up with any delicious variations :)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
A quarter for your chores ma'am
I love my husband. Each night when I announce it is dinner time, he painstakingly turns off whatever baseball/football/basketball/ESPN/News program he is watching and comes to sit at the table. Even if it is only 20 minutes I really love dinner time. More often than not one of the kids has us cracking up over whatever ridiculous thing Emma said or the funny expressions Eli is so good at making (he really doesn't needs words, he makes himself well understood). It is really important to me that we do this at least 5 nights a week. Sometimes are bussier than others and it isn't poosible, but that is my goal. I have even started planning out our meal menu 2 weeks in advance (we only get paid every two weeks so I have to do A LOT of shopping at once) so that I don't have to stand in the pantry and think, "How do I make a meal out of this hodge-podge?" To simplify things even further, Wednesdays are always breakfast for dinner days : pancakes, eggs, bacon, the works. This usually leaves me the time to make my Lasagna or whatever for the rest of the week ahead of time. And saturdays are always leftover days. Since we generally laze around the house all day it is nice to just open the fridge and pull out what is left. Quite often though I have already cleaned it out for lunches...so in that case we fall back on a frozen pizza.
Hmmm, I didn't start this post intending to get so in-depth into our dinner process. But there you have it! So now on to the real reason for this post:
Last night at dinner (see, that's where I got off track) Ricky told me about this awesome idea he had heard on the Laura Ingrahm show that day (he drives around in a truck all day for work so he usually ends up listening to about 30 different talk radio programs in a day to fight the boredom). She had a guest that was discussing how to teach your kids financial resposibility. He didn't catch the whole program but here is the gist:
Every week you give your child $5.00 in quarters. If you so choose you then teach them how to thithe. So every sunday they would give .50 to your church. The rest of the money is theirs! (Stay with me hear, it is more than just an allowance) For the rest of the week obviously they should have chores based on their age. For example, Emma's responsibilites are to pick up her toys before bed, put her dirty clothes in the hamper, and bring me the small garbage out of her bathroom on garbage day. So let's say that one night she didn't want to pick up her things. Our response would be, "Okay, I will be more than happy to do it for you. But it will cost you a quarter." Supposedly the first couple of times this will sound like a pretty good deal. However, at the end of the week they get to decide whether to save their remaining money or spend it. So when Em decides she wants to go to the dollar store, but only has .75 cents because she paid us to do her chores, the concept starts to take shape. Sure you can pay someone else to do your work, but if you just get off your buns and do it yourself then you have so much more to spend at the end of the week!
I am really excited about this! I feel like it will be a great tool to teach her the reward of hard work and responsibility. Obviously it shouldn't be used as a punishment, "Stop being so loud or it will cost you." kind of a thing. And you really have to follow through on the reward part of getting to shop, etc. so that they see the benefit.
We have decided to add one other aspect. Neither of us are good savers so we want to instill that in our kids early. So along with her tithe every week she will be required to put .50 in her piggy bank that has to stay there.
I will let you know how it goes! I am pretty excited, we are starting this saturday.
The cool thing is they can use it for other stuff too. We have a kids fun place in town that for $3.00 the kids can go in and play on a bunch of bounce houses. She would totally be able to use her money to go there. Or maybe bowling, etc.
Have a lovley day girls! I will be burried up to my eyeballs in cleaning.
Hmmm, I didn't start this post intending to get so in-depth into our dinner process. But there you have it! So now on to the real reason for this post:
Last night at dinner (see, that's where I got off track) Ricky told me about this awesome idea he had heard on the Laura Ingrahm show that day (he drives around in a truck all day for work so he usually ends up listening to about 30 different talk radio programs in a day to fight the boredom). She had a guest that was discussing how to teach your kids financial resposibility. He didn't catch the whole program but here is the gist:
Every week you give your child $5.00 in quarters. If you so choose you then teach them how to thithe. So every sunday they would give .50 to your church. The rest of the money is theirs! (Stay with me hear, it is more than just an allowance) For the rest of the week obviously they should have chores based on their age. For example, Emma's responsibilites are to pick up her toys before bed, put her dirty clothes in the hamper, and bring me the small garbage out of her bathroom on garbage day. So let's say that one night she didn't want to pick up her things. Our response would be, "Okay, I will be more than happy to do it for you. But it will cost you a quarter." Supposedly the first couple of times this will sound like a pretty good deal. However, at the end of the week they get to decide whether to save their remaining money or spend it. So when Em decides she wants to go to the dollar store, but only has .75 cents because she paid us to do her chores, the concept starts to take shape. Sure you can pay someone else to do your work, but if you just get off your buns and do it yourself then you have so much more to spend at the end of the week!
I am really excited about this! I feel like it will be a great tool to teach her the reward of hard work and responsibility. Obviously it shouldn't be used as a punishment, "Stop being so loud or it will cost you." kind of a thing. And you really have to follow through on the reward part of getting to shop, etc. so that they see the benefit.
We have decided to add one other aspect. Neither of us are good savers so we want to instill that in our kids early. So along with her tithe every week she will be required to put .50 in her piggy bank that has to stay there.
I will let you know how it goes! I am pretty excited, we are starting this saturday.
The cool thing is they can use it for other stuff too. We have a kids fun place in town that for $3.00 the kids can go in and play on a bunch of bounce houses. She would totally be able to use her money to go there. Or maybe bowling, etc.
Have a lovley day girls! I will be burried up to my eyeballs in cleaning.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I finally figured it out!!
Hey ladies! I finally got around to posting our little love story, abridged of course :) Much thanks to that mama for walking me through the process. Come to think of it, I still owe her an apple bread recipe...tomorrow!
Check out Girl gets Boy... for the whole scoop ;)
My lips are sealed, but life is looking up around here. Even if nothing comes of the job leads I have had in the last few days my heart is settled and my blood pressure has returned to normal. Because my God "makes roads that no one knew where there".
Good night dear friends.
Check out Girl gets Boy... for the whole scoop ;)
My lips are sealed, but life is looking up around here. Even if nothing comes of the job leads I have had in the last few days my heart is settled and my blood pressure has returned to normal. Because my God "makes roads that no one knew where there".
Good night dear friends.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Work or bust
I think fustration is the best way to sum up my feelings these past few days/week. After lots of praying, talking, and excitement I have decided that School right now is really not the best solution to our problem. If the goal is to contribute to our finances, going to school for 2 years before I can do that makes no sense. We need the help now. I am disappointed because I love school and learning but I have peace about the decision.
But here enters the fustration: I am a mom and have been without much interruption for 4 years now! Put together 5 parts horrid economy, 10 parts high unemployment, and 2 parts out of step and inexperienced mama...well. You have a recipe for lots of application time wasting.
It certainly doesn't help that my job in the spring ended on not great terms, that will tank anyone's self confidence for sure.
I have been praying...lets be real...BEGGING God to have a starbucks call me and say "You're perfect! Please come in right away because we can't function another minute without you". I have had a great conversation with the manager of the one just up the road from us, but that was after they had hired 2 people the week before. Poop. Starbucks is definitly my first choice for so many reasons: I LOVED it when I worked there before, great pay, great tips, PROFESSIONALISM, the ability to progress within the company,etc. Looking back I so wish I would have appreciated how great I had it there at 18, and stayed! Health care benefits, career advancement and the like are not things I appreciated at 18, but definitly do now.
To round out the list of 15 Starbucks I have also applied to:
Target (2)
Banks (3)
Fred Meyer(2)
Fred Meyer Jewelrs (2)
Costco (1)
Victoria's Secret
Various state positions (3)
Safeway (3)
So you see my fustration over not getting any calls. I mean come ON! I have to be quallified to do one of these stinking jobs.
It has been really hard for me to accept the fact that I am going to have to work. It is not a choie anymore but a need. I so love staying home with my babies and it is really sad for me to realize that these 3 and half years of doing so may be the only time I get to have enjoying that. Also being the super scheduled person I am...we are due for another baby! Like...soon! I have always wanted my kids to be close in age. So grasping the reality that another baby right now or anytime in probably the next year is way out of the question crushes me. Even if I wasn't looking for work Ricky can't wrap his mind around having a baby until we are more finacially stable. I would have 50 kids and figure it out as we go, he would stop right now and be happy until we are 45 and "ready" for another :)
Thank you for listening to my disjointed ramblings. This has all been swimming around in my head and making for sleepless nights. I know that God has his perfect will and timing. I know that there is a job out there for me. I know it will be MUCH better if I trust him to bring it to me. Now if I could just go from knowing to trusting.
Enjoy your weekend girlfriends. I'll be beating the streets, resume in hand :)
But here enters the fustration: I am a mom and have been without much interruption for 4 years now! Put together 5 parts horrid economy, 10 parts high unemployment, and 2 parts out of step and inexperienced mama...well. You have a recipe for lots of application time wasting.
It certainly doesn't help that my job in the spring ended on not great terms, that will tank anyone's self confidence for sure.
I have been praying...lets be real...BEGGING God to have a starbucks call me and say "You're perfect! Please come in right away because we can't function another minute without you". I have had a great conversation with the manager of the one just up the road from us, but that was after they had hired 2 people the week before. Poop. Starbucks is definitly my first choice for so many reasons: I LOVED it when I worked there before, great pay, great tips, PROFESSIONALISM, the ability to progress within the company,etc. Looking back I so wish I would have appreciated how great I had it there at 18, and stayed! Health care benefits, career advancement and the like are not things I appreciated at 18, but definitly do now.
To round out the list of 15 Starbucks I have also applied to:
Target (2)
Banks (3)
Fred Meyer(2)
Fred Meyer Jewelrs (2)
Costco (1)
Victoria's Secret
Various state positions (3)
Safeway (3)
So you see my fustration over not getting any calls. I mean come ON! I have to be quallified to do one of these stinking jobs.
It has been really hard for me to accept the fact that I am going to have to work. It is not a choie anymore but a need. I so love staying home with my babies and it is really sad for me to realize that these 3 and half years of doing so may be the only time I get to have enjoying that. Also being the super scheduled person I am...we are due for another baby! Like...soon! I have always wanted my kids to be close in age. So grasping the reality that another baby right now or anytime in probably the next year is way out of the question crushes me. Even if I wasn't looking for work Ricky can't wrap his mind around having a baby until we are more finacially stable. I would have 50 kids and figure it out as we go, he would stop right now and be happy until we are 45 and "ready" for another :)
Thank you for listening to my disjointed ramblings. This has all been swimming around in my head and making for sleepless nights. I know that God has his perfect will and timing. I know that there is a job out there for me. I know it will be MUCH better if I trust him to bring it to me. Now if I could just go from knowing to trusting.
Enjoy your weekend girlfriends. I'll be beating the streets, resume in hand :)
Friday, August 27, 2010
Happy little moments
My best childhood memory was an on-going "date" my Papa and I had. Since I spent many of my nights over at Nana and Papa's house, Papa would read to me every night while I was in bed. What did we read? The Chronicles of Narnia of course. He would read and read and read, and when he would say it was time for bed I would beg for just ONE more chapter.
Not only did we read at night, once a week we went out to breakfast. We would get up super early to go down to the Urban Onion before I went to school.
Our order never, ever changed. Papa: a triple tall no room americano. Me: vanilla steamer. Share: The most amazing apple pie you can possibly imagine (this is in fact the pie that Ricky and I shared for our wedding "cake".)Sean, our faithful waiter would have everything ready for us within minutes of seeing us park our little fannies in a seat. Add in a snooze inducing fire and Aslan...you have the perfect morning.
I probably don't have to tell you that the Chronicles of Narnia are and always will be on my top 5 list of favorite books largely because of the precious times with my Papa. When I found out that I was pregnant with Em I was so excited for the day when I could share these stories with her (and obviously now Eli:)
About 2 weeks ago I decided to start reading more than Green Eggs and Ham to the babes before they go to sleep. So of course I pulled down my trusty copies of C.S Lewis' masterpiece. I figured they would still be way over Em's head but that it would be fun (at least for me!) to try.
Poor Eli, he just doesn't have a chance! 4 pages in every night he is face down and drooling into his pillow. But Em has really surprised me. She sits totally still right next to me and LISTENS! Wonder of wonders. Not only does she listen, she actually asks questions. "Why did he shut the door mommy?" "Why did she say that?" "Why was that mean?"
Em doesn't even argure about bed time anymore. I think she is just as excited as I am to settle in and crack open the book. We are only reading one chapter a night at this point, and we have started with the Magician's Nephew.
I love that I now get to share my favorite stories with my favorite babies. And I would be lying if I said I didn't just burst a **little** bit with pride that my 3 year old listens, engages in, and understands the Chronicles of Narnia.
Not only did we read at night, once a week we went out to breakfast. We would get up super early to go down to the Urban Onion before I went to school.
Our order never, ever changed. Papa: a triple tall no room americano. Me: vanilla steamer. Share: The most amazing apple pie you can possibly imagine (this is in fact the pie that Ricky and I shared for our wedding "cake".)Sean, our faithful waiter would have everything ready for us within minutes of seeing us park our little fannies in a seat. Add in a snooze inducing fire and Aslan...you have the perfect morning.
I probably don't have to tell you that the Chronicles of Narnia are and always will be on my top 5 list of favorite books largely because of the precious times with my Papa. When I found out that I was pregnant with Em I was so excited for the day when I could share these stories with her (and obviously now Eli:)
About 2 weeks ago I decided to start reading more than Green Eggs and Ham to the babes before they go to sleep. So of course I pulled down my trusty copies of C.S Lewis' masterpiece. I figured they would still be way over Em's head but that it would be fun (at least for me!) to try.
Poor Eli, he just doesn't have a chance! 4 pages in every night he is face down and drooling into his pillow. But Em has really surprised me. She sits totally still right next to me and LISTENS! Wonder of wonders. Not only does she listen, she actually asks questions. "Why did he shut the door mommy?" "Why did she say that?" "Why was that mean?"
Em doesn't even argure about bed time anymore. I think she is just as excited as I am to settle in and crack open the book. We are only reading one chapter a night at this point, and we have started with the Magician's Nephew.
I love that I now get to share my favorite stories with my favorite babies. And I would be lying if I said I didn't just burst a **little** bit with pride that my 3 year old listens, engages in, and understands the Chronicles of Narnia.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
No thanks, I got it.
Trust. Allowing someone else to be in cotrol. Relaxing. Not my strong points! I am much happier doing it all myself because then I KNOW things will work and everything will go to plan. And once I get things running smoothly don't you DARE suggest a change or express dissatisfaction. Because I will explode, most likely taking you out in the fireball of fury.
Problem: I am human. I don't know all and see all like I sometimes wish I could. I HAVE to trust God that he has it all in is hands and works all things together for his Glory. I misunderstand that verse on puprose a lot of times. His Glory can only come from the good, right? So wrong! Glory is more brilliant shining from the dark than from the sunshine of easy days.
Letting Ricky take the lead on things is SO hard for me. Suffice is to say that our views on financial issues and methods are so polar opposite that compromise can be excruciating to reach. If I really want to I can steam roll him, which is so wrong! There is no blessing or covering from God in that. I have to remind myself constantly that even if Ricky makes the wrond decision God will protect us if I am honoring my husband. Life is a learning process. My head knows what I should do, but my anxiety level screams "NO NO NO!!!! What is he DOING?"
So, stupid Hannah is tryng to cash in on the doulbe promise and blessing. Trust God: He knows, and he works it to his Glory (which will go good for me in the end. Trust the man I love: Right or wrong God will honor my obedience.
On a completly side note: Th rain that is sprinkling agains my window right now just makes the world seem oh so much better. Have a lovely day friends, He is working it out for the good of those who love him :)
Problem: I am human. I don't know all and see all like I sometimes wish I could. I HAVE to trust God that he has it all in is hands and works all things together for his Glory. I misunderstand that verse on puprose a lot of times. His Glory can only come from the good, right? So wrong! Glory is more brilliant shining from the dark than from the sunshine of easy days.
Letting Ricky take the lead on things is SO hard for me. Suffice is to say that our views on financial issues and methods are so polar opposite that compromise can be excruciating to reach. If I really want to I can steam roll him, which is so wrong! There is no blessing or covering from God in that. I have to remind myself constantly that even if Ricky makes the wrond decision God will protect us if I am honoring my husband. Life is a learning process. My head knows what I should do, but my anxiety level screams "NO NO NO!!!! What is he DOING?"
So, stupid Hannah is tryng to cash in on the doulbe promise and blessing. Trust God: He knows, and he works it to his Glory (which will go good for me in the end. Trust the man I love: Right or wrong God will honor my obedience.
On a completly side note: Th rain that is sprinkling agains my window right now just makes the world seem oh so much better. Have a lovely day friends, He is working it out for the good of those who love him :)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
B-e-a-u-tiful Summer
Dare I say it? Summer has arrived for a few days at least. As soon as my eyes peeped open yesterday I was in a good mood. SUN! So I went and ripped the kiddies out of bed, tossed them in some shorts, and kicked them on to the patio. It was lovely. Even just our plain old cereal breakfast seemed better than normal.
i was spectacularly proud of myself; Our normal morning routine involves the kids vegging to cartons while I attempt to wake up on the right side of the bed (which takes awhile). So the fact that the tv didn't make an appearance until late afternoon when I desperatly needed a shower was a victory in my book.
I have been waiting like a kid counting down the days to christmas for our grass to grow. Let me tell you, a year and a half of a 1/4 acre of mud makes for one psychotic, dirt hating mama! Yesterday was the first day I actuall turned the babies loose on the beautiful, emerald green lawn! AAaahhh, satisfaction. Thank you to Mr. Craig Halstrom and Ricky (my super-men) for putting in so many drops of sweat and hours to make our mud bowl a back yard.
On a completly different note: I am pleasantly surprised by my self pedicure skills. In an effort to save money I have put the kaibosh on my much coveted bi-monthly pedicures. Seriously, I thought it was going to kill me. But it turns out you can do a pretty good job at home too! Now if only I could get Ricky to rub my feet...
Enjoy the sunshine girlfriends, we earned it this winter!
Ps: I have an urge to host a super frilly, garden tea party like girls party. Summer dresses, table lines and all. Any takers?
i was spectacularly proud of myself; Our normal morning routine involves the kids vegging to cartons while I attempt to wake up on the right side of the bed (which takes awhile). So the fact that the tv didn't make an appearance until late afternoon when I desperatly needed a shower was a victory in my book.
I have been waiting like a kid counting down the days to christmas for our grass to grow. Let me tell you, a year and a half of a 1/4 acre of mud makes for one psychotic, dirt hating mama! Yesterday was the first day I actuall turned the babies loose on the beautiful, emerald green lawn! AAaahhh, satisfaction. Thank you to Mr. Craig Halstrom and Ricky (my super-men) for putting in so many drops of sweat and hours to make our mud bowl a back yard.
On a completly different note: I am pleasantly surprised by my self pedicure skills. In an effort to save money I have put the kaibosh on my much coveted bi-monthly pedicures. Seriously, I thought it was going to kill me. But it turns out you can do a pretty good job at home too! Now if only I could get Ricky to rub my feet...
Enjoy the sunshine girlfriends, we earned it this winter!
Ps: I have an urge to host a super frilly, garden tea party like girls party. Summer dresses, table lines and all. Any takers?
Friday, June 25, 2010
miley you make me cry.
Before the arrival of my two beautiful babies I was never much affected by "that time of the month". In fact i usially breezed right through no worse for the wear emotionally or physically.
They must have done something. Chemical imbalance, hormonal imbalance, let's face it, they just flat out imbalanced ME.
I really do feel sorry for my husband. The fact that I didnt "get all psycho on him" once a month was in fact one of my biggest selling points in his eyes. Those days are indeed gone, and I think he is a little mystified. If I had always been like this, he would just be used to it by now. But oh no, he is dealing with an entirely new breed of monster. (woman? MONSTER)
And to be perfectly honest i didnt know what the heck was wrong with me either!
Enter Miley Cyrus. This morning as I'm doing dishes, tripping on kids, cleaning up the trail of water bowl drool from the dog and TRYING to get ready for work, miley comes on the radio.
(Instant waterworks) that's right Miley, you go girl! Climb that mountain, I got your back.
What the heck? Seriously Hannah? Miley Cyrus? Get a grip of....oh yeah. (light bulb) its either that time again, or I'm losing it.
So here's to all my imbalanced sisters. keep climbing ladies, keep climbing.
It's always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes your gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't aboit what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
(apologies to all true Miley fans, I really have no idea what the lyrics are.)
They must have done something. Chemical imbalance, hormonal imbalance, let's face it, they just flat out imbalanced ME.
I really do feel sorry for my husband. The fact that I didnt "get all psycho on him" once a month was in fact one of my biggest selling points in his eyes. Those days are indeed gone, and I think he is a little mystified. If I had always been like this, he would just be used to it by now. But oh no, he is dealing with an entirely new breed of monster. (woman? MONSTER)
And to be perfectly honest i didnt know what the heck was wrong with me either!
Enter Miley Cyrus. This morning as I'm doing dishes, tripping on kids, cleaning up the trail of water bowl drool from the dog and TRYING to get ready for work, miley comes on the radio.
(Instant waterworks) that's right Miley, you go girl! Climb that mountain, I got your back.
What the heck? Seriously Hannah? Miley Cyrus? Get a grip of....oh yeah. (light bulb) its either that time again, or I'm losing it.
So here's to all my imbalanced sisters. keep climbing ladies, keep climbing.
It's always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes your gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't aboit what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
(apologies to all true Miley fans, I really have no idea what the lyrics are.)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Calling all girls
I find myself torn. I have always naturally tended to be a hermit. I am very happy sitting at home with my 3 little people day in and day out, I don't need anyone else. They make me happy gosh darn it.
Then I see highshcool friends, you know the ones. The girls that have been best friends since freshman year, and they still are. The whole circle of girl friends thing has always escaped me. In highschool I always had a guy, not girls. But I want girls! I want that group of ladies that sticks with you through thick and thin. The ladies that you get all dressed up and go out for fancy froo-froo drinks and dinner.
Part of the struggle is that it is hard to co-ordinate those nights when your "ladies" have kids too. Or if they don't, staying relevant with them when you are changing diapers and they are changing their wardrobes.
Now for my buddies reading this thinking "but I thought we were friends...." please don't be hurt or mystified. I guess this is my oficial notice to you that I am tired of being a hermit. I want to travel through this thing called life with a group of women to encourage, love, and laugh with. So get ready, you're phones are about to start ringing :)
Then I see highshcool friends, you know the ones. The girls that have been best friends since freshman year, and they still are. The whole circle of girl friends thing has always escaped me. In highschool I always had a guy, not girls. But I want girls! I want that group of ladies that sticks with you through thick and thin. The ladies that you get all dressed up and go out for fancy froo-froo drinks and dinner.
Part of the struggle is that it is hard to co-ordinate those nights when your "ladies" have kids too. Or if they don't, staying relevant with them when you are changing diapers and they are changing their wardrobes.
Now for my buddies reading this thinking "but I thought we were friends...." please don't be hurt or mystified. I guess this is my oficial notice to you that I am tired of being a hermit. I want to travel through this thing called life with a group of women to encourage, love, and laugh with. So get ready, you're phones are about to start ringing :)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Hello friends and family (and everything in between). Rest assured, I have not forgotten you! My blogging wheels just seem to be turning a bit slowly these days. Perhaps because the rest of my life has gone in to super over drive?
Here are the highlights:
One giant tree goes down
GRASS GOES IN!
New job: SweetSpot!
Big kid beds (tear)
Over night potty training (definitly interfering with my beauty sleep)
No potty training whatsoever for the boy
A dog thrown in for good measure
Said dog having 2 weeks of intestinal "issues" (sigh)
Lots of fun in the ever so more often appeaing sun.
Stay tuned for more, someday I will be back :)
"I'll open up and and be your parachute
I'll never let you down
So open up and be my human angel
And we'll only hit the ground,
running"]=
Here are the highlights:
One giant tree goes down
GRASS GOES IN!
New job: SweetSpot!
Big kid beds (tear)
Over night potty training (definitly interfering with my beauty sleep)
No potty training whatsoever for the boy
A dog thrown in for good measure
Said dog having 2 weeks of intestinal "issues" (sigh)
Lots of fun in the ever so more often appeaing sun.
Stay tuned for more, someday I will be back :)
"I'll open up and and be your parachute
I'll never let you down
So open up and be my human angel
And we'll only hit the ground,
running"]=
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sacred Marriage
I'm reading a really great book, "Sacred Marriage". It is kind of rocking the way I view marriage. I highly suggest you all, marriend and un-married alike check it out. I bet you'll be surprised by how much sense it makes! Happy reading, and happy Monday.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
God is kinda cool
Well, He did it. My year of worrying, stressing, ranting and raving boiled down to a whirlwind week and a half of answered prayers and solutions!
I love that God's ways are SO not my ways. I was reading in Psalms the other day and it was talking about how when God brought the Isrealites through the Red Sea, HE was the only one that knew there was a road there! No one had any idea when they were crying out to him to save them from the Egyptians that he would part the waters and lead them down the middle. Sure, they may have expected something spectacular, but I am pretty positive there was not a single person who could have even imagined what he had in mind. And that God, is MY God.
Granted, my situation wasn't quite so dire as being chased to the edge of an ocean by people wanting to kill me. But my mind marvels over how He is so faithful and able to bring all of the loose ends together in such a way that nothing is left to be done. The best part is that none of the things that happened were our doing. We would have gone 180 degrees the other direction, but he saw perfection in all of the pieces.
How can I be anything other than grateful? How can I not stand in awe of the majesty that is my God? When I had given up my final hope, cried my final tear and prepared for disaster...he swept in at the eleventh hour and layed it all out before me. Car? Sold. House? Rented. Past due payments on the Condo? Taken care of. Dead washing maching? Money for a new one. And one super extra exciting tid-bit that I had given up on (can't give details yet): He just went ahead and threw it in for kicks and giggles.
Wow, even writing this I am still reeling over all he has done for us in the past 2 weeks.
Take heart my dear, dear friends. He sees you, He knows you, He has you right in the palm of his hand. His ways are NOT your ways, and for that we should be ever so grateful.
"I've seen enough to know
That you're my only hope
I don't want to go
If you're not with me
And I will not be afraid
I will not be afraid
Cus you are with me...."
"My hiding place
My safe refuge
My treasure Lord you are
My friend and King
Annointed one
Most Holy...."
I love that God's ways are SO not my ways. I was reading in Psalms the other day and it was talking about how when God brought the Isrealites through the Red Sea, HE was the only one that knew there was a road there! No one had any idea when they were crying out to him to save them from the Egyptians that he would part the waters and lead them down the middle. Sure, they may have expected something spectacular, but I am pretty positive there was not a single person who could have even imagined what he had in mind. And that God, is MY God.
Granted, my situation wasn't quite so dire as being chased to the edge of an ocean by people wanting to kill me. But my mind marvels over how He is so faithful and able to bring all of the loose ends together in such a way that nothing is left to be done. The best part is that none of the things that happened were our doing. We would have gone 180 degrees the other direction, but he saw perfection in all of the pieces.
How can I be anything other than grateful? How can I not stand in awe of the majesty that is my God? When I had given up my final hope, cried my final tear and prepared for disaster...he swept in at the eleventh hour and layed it all out before me. Car? Sold. House? Rented. Past due payments on the Condo? Taken care of. Dead washing maching? Money for a new one. And one super extra exciting tid-bit that I had given up on (can't give details yet): He just went ahead and threw it in for kicks and giggles.
Wow, even writing this I am still reeling over all he has done for us in the past 2 weeks.
Take heart my dear, dear friends. He sees you, He knows you, He has you right in the palm of his hand. His ways are NOT your ways, and for that we should be ever so grateful.
"I've seen enough to know
That you're my only hope
I don't want to go
If you're not with me
And I will not be afraid
I will not be afraid
Cus you are with me...."
"My hiding place
My safe refuge
My treasure Lord you are
My friend and King
Annointed one
Most Holy...."
Friday, April 9, 2010
Love is in the air
So, just when you thought you had me pegged....I'm switching things up on you! Nothing fantastic to report in this blog, nothing thought provoking or life changing: just happiness. I get to go out on the town with my man tonight! Yippee for a date night that doesn't include running errands, signing papework, or some other necessary thing that requires us to dump the children and use up all of our babysitter credits among the family doing boring grown up completly un-romantic things.
Here's to love, laughter, and re-discovering why you married that big lug in the first place! Have a wonderful weekend, and try sneaking in one extra smooch when he isn't expecting it. (Preferably minus morning breath and bed head...but whatever works for you).
Here's to love, laughter, and re-discovering why you married that big lug in the first place! Have a wonderful weekend, and try sneaking in one extra smooch when he isn't expecting it. (Preferably minus morning breath and bed head...but whatever works for you).
Friday, April 2, 2010
First confession:
Unfortunatly I have to continue my venture into the world of blogging with a confession: I am a little too concerened of what people think of me. If you check out the date on my first post, it was well over a month ago. Yet only yesterday did I finally have the courage to let anyone know I was even blogging! As soon as I hit "submit" on that oh so heart-bearing docuement, I was mortified. Let's be real: I don't like sharing my "yuck". I am pretty darn happy to pick you to pieces until you will tell me how YOU truly are doing, but a smile and a quick comment is good enough in return when you ask how I am. Don't get me wrong, when I pester you about your feelings/heart/thoughts...it is out of pure love and a desire to share your burden (a shared burden is easier carried...). But for some reason I can be exceedingly selective when it comes to who I let see ME: naked, scarred, and without my "great" mask on. I guess my earlier statement isn't quite true. It isn't so much about being worried about what people think, it is more about hating the feeling that I am whinning. I can't stand whiny people! So to me, when I keep complaining and un-loading I see myslef through other people's eyes as being un-grateful, whiny, irritating, and pathetic.
But you know what I have realized lately? I can go through all this crap, make it through and never look back (which is fine). OR, I can be real. I can open up, pour out my heart, cry when I feel like it, and allow God to work through my experiences. I guess there is nothing inherently wrong in not being transparent. But it doesn't allow others to see God's glory working through my life. Ouch. What a waste! Why experience everything I have in my 23 years of life and then shut it away and never allow the majesty and miracle of it all to see the light of day?
So here is what it boils down to I guess: There is a defference between sharing our burdens, and complaining. Being real, and being whinny.
I recently stumbled onto an artist who blows me away. I have not yet been able to listen to his album without bawling from song to song. (Just go with me here...it will tie in eventually:) His name is Jason Gray, and he stutters. A sentence that for most of us is brainless, is painstaking for him. But give that man a microphone, and he will give anyone a run for their money. It cannot be explained as anything other than a God given talent and calling.
One of his songs "you hold the key" talks about how as humans we were born to be open. But through the hurts and dissapointent of life we lock our heart away to protect it. The catch 22 though, is that in locking it away, we put ourselves in shackles. We can only REALLY be free when we are not ashamed, scarred, or angry over what has brought us to where we are. For crying out loud, this man can't speak! Yet he has the courage to get up in front of thousands and pour his heart out through song! I highly suggest you check him out, hopefully it wil change you like it has me.
Like I said before, God has been shaking my foundations. I would rather sing than breathe. But over the years I have locked that desire away to protect myself. From judgement, dissapointment, and the potential that God might not come through like he has promised to. (stupid i know) Long story short, I have reached the end of my rope. I can no longer deny this burning desire, because it is eating me alive.
Now here is where the foundation shaking comes in. To me, joining the youth worship team and (oh my!) branching out to Sunday mornings is good enough. But wouldn't you know it, God has bigger plans! Out of nowhere I got smacked upside the head with this crazy idea: what if I go to music in the rockies this year? what if I submit a song? what if I put myself out there in front of hundreds of people to be judged and critiqued? (Can you hear my voice going up an octave with each question? I am sweating just writing this!) You know what? God does not give us dreams and gifts to torture us. He puts them in our heart because he loves us, and what delights us, delights him!
As my beautiful friend Jocelynn asked me a few months ago, what is the worst that could happen by putting myself out there? Well, I of course responded that I might fall. That God may not be there to catch me (Again, stupid.) IT IS NOT ABOUT ME! It is about worshipping my king. It is about giving HIM the glory and letting HIM be responsible for the how and the why. Because I can do things my way and I probably will fall. But if I do them HIS way, he will never, Never, NEVER fail me. He can't. It is just not who he is.
We will see where things go. But at this point, my heart is pounding and my palms are sweaty because I know that even if it isn't music in the rockies, God is getting ready to put me in places that I am NOT comfortable going. Sweaty, terrified, and unsure...I will follow where he leads. Because the safest place to be is in the center of God's will :) (Look up the origins of that little statment by the way, it will probably surprise you.)
So, this wasn't as organized as I would have liked it to be. But it is me. Naked, scarred...un-ashamed. Are you along for the ride?
Jason Gray, More like falling in love:
"All relgion ever made of me
was a sinner with a stone
tied to me feet.."
But you know what I have realized lately? I can go through all this crap, make it through and never look back (which is fine). OR, I can be real. I can open up, pour out my heart, cry when I feel like it, and allow God to work through my experiences. I guess there is nothing inherently wrong in not being transparent. But it doesn't allow others to see God's glory working through my life. Ouch. What a waste! Why experience everything I have in my 23 years of life and then shut it away and never allow the majesty and miracle of it all to see the light of day?
So here is what it boils down to I guess: There is a defference between sharing our burdens, and complaining. Being real, and being whinny.
I recently stumbled onto an artist who blows me away. I have not yet been able to listen to his album without bawling from song to song. (Just go with me here...it will tie in eventually:) His name is Jason Gray, and he stutters. A sentence that for most of us is brainless, is painstaking for him. But give that man a microphone, and he will give anyone a run for their money. It cannot be explained as anything other than a God given talent and calling.
One of his songs "you hold the key" talks about how as humans we were born to be open. But through the hurts and dissapointent of life we lock our heart away to protect it. The catch 22 though, is that in locking it away, we put ourselves in shackles. We can only REALLY be free when we are not ashamed, scarred, or angry over what has brought us to where we are. For crying out loud, this man can't speak! Yet he has the courage to get up in front of thousands and pour his heart out through song! I highly suggest you check him out, hopefully it wil change you like it has me.
Like I said before, God has been shaking my foundations. I would rather sing than breathe. But over the years I have locked that desire away to protect myself. From judgement, dissapointment, and the potential that God might not come through like he has promised to. (stupid i know) Long story short, I have reached the end of my rope. I can no longer deny this burning desire, because it is eating me alive.
Now here is where the foundation shaking comes in. To me, joining the youth worship team and (oh my!) branching out to Sunday mornings is good enough. But wouldn't you know it, God has bigger plans! Out of nowhere I got smacked upside the head with this crazy idea: what if I go to music in the rockies this year? what if I submit a song? what if I put myself out there in front of hundreds of people to be judged and critiqued? (Can you hear my voice going up an octave with each question? I am sweating just writing this!) You know what? God does not give us dreams and gifts to torture us. He puts them in our heart because he loves us, and what delights us, delights him!
As my beautiful friend Jocelynn asked me a few months ago, what is the worst that could happen by putting myself out there? Well, I of course responded that I might fall. That God may not be there to catch me (Again, stupid.) IT IS NOT ABOUT ME! It is about worshipping my king. It is about giving HIM the glory and letting HIM be responsible for the how and the why. Because I can do things my way and I probably will fall. But if I do them HIS way, he will never, Never, NEVER fail me. He can't. It is just not who he is.
We will see where things go. But at this point, my heart is pounding and my palms are sweaty because I know that even if it isn't music in the rockies, God is getting ready to put me in places that I am NOT comfortable going. Sweaty, terrified, and unsure...I will follow where he leads. Because the safest place to be is in the center of God's will :) (Look up the origins of that little statment by the way, it will probably surprise you.)
So, this wasn't as organized as I would have liked it to be. But it is me. Naked, scarred...un-ashamed. Are you along for the ride?
Jason Gray, More like falling in love:
"All relgion ever made of me
was a sinner with a stone
tied to me feet.."
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Blessed, not stressed
Recently I have decided that the old adage "Life is what you make of it" holds more truth than I sometimes like to admit. Anyone who knows me, knows that life the last year has been anything but easy. I spent the better part of that year depressed, mad, scared, and angry.
But in the past few weeks God has been radically working on my heart. He has shaken the foundations of who I thought I was, and where I think I am going. Wasn't that nice of him? :)
So here I am, sitting in my rocker, listening to the baby cry because he doesn't want to go to bed, the 3 year old yelling at him to stop crying, the Lakers game my hubby is watching, hacking up a lung because of this dang virus; the not so simple life.
Perhaps I have been misled. Is life really about my happiness? My comfort? Making sure numero uno is always having a good time? Or is it about the fact that my crying baby has clean diapers and formula, the 3 year old has a warm bed and a love for her baby brother, my husband is sitting on the couch next to me sharing his love of basketball, and I live in a day and age where there are antibiotics and (praise God!) cough syrup with codine.
Because I have an amazing ability to have a "duh!" moment and then forget it, I am going to record my journey (good and bad) here. Your thoughts, admonitions, tears, and prays are welcomed and much appreciated. I will lay my heart before you in the hope that in some small way, my struggle to trust the one who gave me life will inspire you to do the same.
So remember my friends, although I do not subscribe to the "name it and claim it" way of thinking, your perspective most definitely matters.
Life is what you make of it.
"Blessed, not stressed." Pastor Judah
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