So, I could spend un-ending hours explaining life for the last year or so to you. But really? I'm tired. I'm over it. And there are so many more worthwhile things to talk about :)
I'm sitting on the couch tonight realizing something: This is my baby.
For a long time now it has been everyone else's pregnancy, everyone else's new baby. Fun and exciting but not mine.
8 months. That is how long this baby was in the making. And really? I can't complain. I have dear, dear friends who have been knee deep in pregnancy sorrow and defeat for more than a year. But dear God, every month that test came back negative was a bone crushing defeat. A little more bitter, another layer of "I don't really care" to protect the ache, another "I knew I wasn't anyway" lie to make it through the day. So unexpected, confusing.
On Chrismas Eve when I saw that second little line my heart stopped. And then started beating for the first time in a really. long. time.
Sure there has ben excitment but tonight, something has clicked. It started with a teether, random no? I saw an add for a cute little teether and thought, "huh, I hope I remember where to find that when I need one." And then, BAM! It hit me: I can buy that. This little bump that is stubbornly breaking down my will power to not wear anything but normal clothing yet will be here in 7-ish months. It's mine, my baby, my bean, my bumpkin,my life-sucking dear baby Jesus I have never been this sick sweet pea. Not a new nephew, not a dear friend's precious angel.
I'm terrified. 3? That's no joke. I'm awed. I'm just starting to grasp that baby really. is. there. And sometime in August I get to hold him, squeeze him, kiss his perfect little nose.
And girls? I can't wait.
PS: Family and close friends know and I feel like it is time to start documenting life again so I am going to chance putting the news on this forum. We aren't in hididng (obviously I wouldn't be posting this if that were so!) but for the most part we aren't proclaiming it from the mountain tops yet. If you are one of the cherished few to read this then I am so excited to share it with you :) But please let the word spread slowly beyond these pages.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Apple bread for a Mama
Seeing as how my last post was rather long I decided to give this recipe it's own space :)
My grandma found this awesome bread machine recipe book at a garage sale. She knows I love to bake so she kindly passed it on to me. This is the first and only recipe I have tried so far and it is indeed yummy! I'll write it out for you and then give you my variations:
For a 1 1/2 pound loaf ~
3/4 cup of apple juice
1/3 cup of applea sauce
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1 tablespoon honey
2 cups bread flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon active dry yeast or bread machine yeast
Select the loaf size. Add the ingredients to your machine according to the manufacturer's instructions. If available select the whole grain setting, or select the basic white bread cycle.
When I made it according to the recipe it was very good. But I am never one to follow a recipe :) So the second time I added more cinnamon. I am still trying to get it to come across with a stronger apple flavor. Right now it smells fabulous but the apple flavore isn't quite as strong as I would like. Also watch the dough. Usually within the first 45 minutes or so your machine will be forming the dough "ball". Lift the lid and check it. If the dough is really powedery and not forming a distinct ball, add more apple juice. If it is watery and not stikcing into a ball, add more flour.
I did not have bread or whole wheat flour on hand so I just used "better for bread machine" white flour.
Eli LOVES this bread. After 3 or 4 days it starts to go a little stale. So I take whatever is left and slice really thick pieces, and inch or more thick. I then take that piece and cut it again into three smaller "Strips", basically making a granola bar of sorts. He can walk around munching on those any time of the day. Perfection.
Enjoy! And let me know if you come up with any delicious variations :)
My grandma found this awesome bread machine recipe book at a garage sale. She knows I love to bake so she kindly passed it on to me. This is the first and only recipe I have tried so far and it is indeed yummy! I'll write it out for you and then give you my variations:
For a 1 1/2 pound loaf ~
3/4 cup of apple juice
1/3 cup of applea sauce
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1 tablespoon honey
2 cups bread flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon active dry yeast or bread machine yeast
Select the loaf size. Add the ingredients to your machine according to the manufacturer's instructions. If available select the whole grain setting, or select the basic white bread cycle.
When I made it according to the recipe it was very good. But I am never one to follow a recipe :) So the second time I added more cinnamon. I am still trying to get it to come across with a stronger apple flavor. Right now it smells fabulous but the apple flavore isn't quite as strong as I would like. Also watch the dough. Usually within the first 45 minutes or so your machine will be forming the dough "ball". Lift the lid and check it. If the dough is really powedery and not forming a distinct ball, add more apple juice. If it is watery and not stikcing into a ball, add more flour.
I did not have bread or whole wheat flour on hand so I just used "better for bread machine" white flour.
Eli LOVES this bread. After 3 or 4 days it starts to go a little stale. So I take whatever is left and slice really thick pieces, and inch or more thick. I then take that piece and cut it again into three smaller "Strips", basically making a granola bar of sorts. He can walk around munching on those any time of the day. Perfection.
Enjoy! And let me know if you come up with any delicious variations :)
A quarter for your chores ma'am
I love my husband. Each night when I announce it is dinner time, he painstakingly turns off whatever baseball/football/basketball/ESPN/News program he is watching and comes to sit at the table. Even if it is only 20 minutes I really love dinner time. More often than not one of the kids has us cracking up over whatever ridiculous thing Emma said or the funny expressions Eli is so good at making (he really doesn't needs words, he makes himself well understood). It is really important to me that we do this at least 5 nights a week. Sometimes are bussier than others and it isn't poosible, but that is my goal. I have even started planning out our meal menu 2 weeks in advance (we only get paid every two weeks so I have to do A LOT of shopping at once) so that I don't have to stand in the pantry and think, "How do I make a meal out of this hodge-podge?" To simplify things even further, Wednesdays are always breakfast for dinner days : pancakes, eggs, bacon, the works. This usually leaves me the time to make my Lasagna or whatever for the rest of the week ahead of time. And saturdays are always leftover days. Since we generally laze around the house all day it is nice to just open the fridge and pull out what is left. Quite often though I have already cleaned it out for lunches...so in that case we fall back on a frozen pizza.
Hmmm, I didn't start this post intending to get so in-depth into our dinner process. But there you have it! So now on to the real reason for this post:
Last night at dinner (see, that's where I got off track) Ricky told me about this awesome idea he had heard on the Laura Ingrahm show that day (he drives around in a truck all day for work so he usually ends up listening to about 30 different talk radio programs in a day to fight the boredom). She had a guest that was discussing how to teach your kids financial resposibility. He didn't catch the whole program but here is the gist:
Every week you give your child $5.00 in quarters. If you so choose you then teach them how to thithe. So every sunday they would give .50 to your church. The rest of the money is theirs! (Stay with me hear, it is more than just an allowance) For the rest of the week obviously they should have chores based on their age. For example, Emma's responsibilites are to pick up her toys before bed, put her dirty clothes in the hamper, and bring me the small garbage out of her bathroom on garbage day. So let's say that one night she didn't want to pick up her things. Our response would be, "Okay, I will be more than happy to do it for you. But it will cost you a quarter." Supposedly the first couple of times this will sound like a pretty good deal. However, at the end of the week they get to decide whether to save their remaining money or spend it. So when Em decides she wants to go to the dollar store, but only has .75 cents because she paid us to do her chores, the concept starts to take shape. Sure you can pay someone else to do your work, but if you just get off your buns and do it yourself then you have so much more to spend at the end of the week!
I am really excited about this! I feel like it will be a great tool to teach her the reward of hard work and responsibility. Obviously it shouldn't be used as a punishment, "Stop being so loud or it will cost you." kind of a thing. And you really have to follow through on the reward part of getting to shop, etc. so that they see the benefit.
We have decided to add one other aspect. Neither of us are good savers so we want to instill that in our kids early. So along with her tithe every week she will be required to put .50 in her piggy bank that has to stay there.
I will let you know how it goes! I am pretty excited, we are starting this saturday.
The cool thing is they can use it for other stuff too. We have a kids fun place in town that for $3.00 the kids can go in and play on a bunch of bounce houses. She would totally be able to use her money to go there. Or maybe bowling, etc.
Have a lovley day girls! I will be burried up to my eyeballs in cleaning.
Hmmm, I didn't start this post intending to get so in-depth into our dinner process. But there you have it! So now on to the real reason for this post:
Last night at dinner (see, that's where I got off track) Ricky told me about this awesome idea he had heard on the Laura Ingrahm show that day (he drives around in a truck all day for work so he usually ends up listening to about 30 different talk radio programs in a day to fight the boredom). She had a guest that was discussing how to teach your kids financial resposibility. He didn't catch the whole program but here is the gist:
Every week you give your child $5.00 in quarters. If you so choose you then teach them how to thithe. So every sunday they would give .50 to your church. The rest of the money is theirs! (Stay with me hear, it is more than just an allowance) For the rest of the week obviously they should have chores based on their age. For example, Emma's responsibilites are to pick up her toys before bed, put her dirty clothes in the hamper, and bring me the small garbage out of her bathroom on garbage day. So let's say that one night she didn't want to pick up her things. Our response would be, "Okay, I will be more than happy to do it for you. But it will cost you a quarter." Supposedly the first couple of times this will sound like a pretty good deal. However, at the end of the week they get to decide whether to save their remaining money or spend it. So when Em decides she wants to go to the dollar store, but only has .75 cents because she paid us to do her chores, the concept starts to take shape. Sure you can pay someone else to do your work, but if you just get off your buns and do it yourself then you have so much more to spend at the end of the week!
I am really excited about this! I feel like it will be a great tool to teach her the reward of hard work and responsibility. Obviously it shouldn't be used as a punishment, "Stop being so loud or it will cost you." kind of a thing. And you really have to follow through on the reward part of getting to shop, etc. so that they see the benefit.
We have decided to add one other aspect. Neither of us are good savers so we want to instill that in our kids early. So along with her tithe every week she will be required to put .50 in her piggy bank that has to stay there.
I will let you know how it goes! I am pretty excited, we are starting this saturday.
The cool thing is they can use it for other stuff too. We have a kids fun place in town that for $3.00 the kids can go in and play on a bunch of bounce houses. She would totally be able to use her money to go there. Or maybe bowling, etc.
Have a lovley day girls! I will be burried up to my eyeballs in cleaning.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I finally figured it out!!
Hey ladies! I finally got around to posting our little love story, abridged of course :) Much thanks to that mama for walking me through the process. Come to think of it, I still owe her an apple bread recipe...tomorrow!
Check out Girl gets Boy... for the whole scoop ;)
My lips are sealed, but life is looking up around here. Even if nothing comes of the job leads I have had in the last few days my heart is settled and my blood pressure has returned to normal. Because my God "makes roads that no one knew where there".
Good night dear friends.
Check out Girl gets Boy... for the whole scoop ;)
My lips are sealed, but life is looking up around here. Even if nothing comes of the job leads I have had in the last few days my heart is settled and my blood pressure has returned to normal. Because my God "makes roads that no one knew where there".
Good night dear friends.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Work or bust
I think fustration is the best way to sum up my feelings these past few days/week. After lots of praying, talking, and excitement I have decided that School right now is really not the best solution to our problem. If the goal is to contribute to our finances, going to school for 2 years before I can do that makes no sense. We need the help now. I am disappointed because I love school and learning but I have peace about the decision.
But here enters the fustration: I am a mom and have been without much interruption for 4 years now! Put together 5 parts horrid economy, 10 parts high unemployment, and 2 parts out of step and inexperienced mama...well. You have a recipe for lots of application time wasting.
It certainly doesn't help that my job in the spring ended on not great terms, that will tank anyone's self confidence for sure.
I have been praying...lets be real...BEGGING God to have a starbucks call me and say "You're perfect! Please come in right away because we can't function another minute without you". I have had a great conversation with the manager of the one just up the road from us, but that was after they had hired 2 people the week before. Poop. Starbucks is definitly my first choice for so many reasons: I LOVED it when I worked there before, great pay, great tips, PROFESSIONALISM, the ability to progress within the company,etc. Looking back I so wish I would have appreciated how great I had it there at 18, and stayed! Health care benefits, career advancement and the like are not things I appreciated at 18, but definitly do now.
To round out the list of 15 Starbucks I have also applied to:
Target (2)
Banks (3)
Fred Meyer(2)
Fred Meyer Jewelrs (2)
Costco (1)
Victoria's Secret
Various state positions (3)
Safeway (3)
So you see my fustration over not getting any calls. I mean come ON! I have to be quallified to do one of these stinking jobs.
It has been really hard for me to accept the fact that I am going to have to work. It is not a choie anymore but a need. I so love staying home with my babies and it is really sad for me to realize that these 3 and half years of doing so may be the only time I get to have enjoying that. Also being the super scheduled person I am...we are due for another baby! Like...soon! I have always wanted my kids to be close in age. So grasping the reality that another baby right now or anytime in probably the next year is way out of the question crushes me. Even if I wasn't looking for work Ricky can't wrap his mind around having a baby until we are more finacially stable. I would have 50 kids and figure it out as we go, he would stop right now and be happy until we are 45 and "ready" for another :)
Thank you for listening to my disjointed ramblings. This has all been swimming around in my head and making for sleepless nights. I know that God has his perfect will and timing. I know that there is a job out there for me. I know it will be MUCH better if I trust him to bring it to me. Now if I could just go from knowing to trusting.
Enjoy your weekend girlfriends. I'll be beating the streets, resume in hand :)
But here enters the fustration: I am a mom and have been without much interruption for 4 years now! Put together 5 parts horrid economy, 10 parts high unemployment, and 2 parts out of step and inexperienced mama...well. You have a recipe for lots of application time wasting.
It certainly doesn't help that my job in the spring ended on not great terms, that will tank anyone's self confidence for sure.
I have been praying...lets be real...BEGGING God to have a starbucks call me and say "You're perfect! Please come in right away because we can't function another minute without you". I have had a great conversation with the manager of the one just up the road from us, but that was after they had hired 2 people the week before. Poop. Starbucks is definitly my first choice for so many reasons: I LOVED it when I worked there before, great pay, great tips, PROFESSIONALISM, the ability to progress within the company,etc. Looking back I so wish I would have appreciated how great I had it there at 18, and stayed! Health care benefits, career advancement and the like are not things I appreciated at 18, but definitly do now.
To round out the list of 15 Starbucks I have also applied to:
Target (2)
Banks (3)
Fred Meyer(2)
Fred Meyer Jewelrs (2)
Costco (1)
Victoria's Secret
Various state positions (3)
Safeway (3)
So you see my fustration over not getting any calls. I mean come ON! I have to be quallified to do one of these stinking jobs.
It has been really hard for me to accept the fact that I am going to have to work. It is not a choie anymore but a need. I so love staying home with my babies and it is really sad for me to realize that these 3 and half years of doing so may be the only time I get to have enjoying that. Also being the super scheduled person I am...we are due for another baby! Like...soon! I have always wanted my kids to be close in age. So grasping the reality that another baby right now or anytime in probably the next year is way out of the question crushes me. Even if I wasn't looking for work Ricky can't wrap his mind around having a baby until we are more finacially stable. I would have 50 kids and figure it out as we go, he would stop right now and be happy until we are 45 and "ready" for another :)
Thank you for listening to my disjointed ramblings. This has all been swimming around in my head and making for sleepless nights. I know that God has his perfect will and timing. I know that there is a job out there for me. I know it will be MUCH better if I trust him to bring it to me. Now if I could just go from knowing to trusting.
Enjoy your weekend girlfriends. I'll be beating the streets, resume in hand :)
Friday, August 27, 2010
Happy little moments
My best childhood memory was an on-going "date" my Papa and I had. Since I spent many of my nights over at Nana and Papa's house, Papa would read to me every night while I was in bed. What did we read? The Chronicles of Narnia of course. He would read and read and read, and when he would say it was time for bed I would beg for just ONE more chapter.
Not only did we read at night, once a week we went out to breakfast. We would get up super early to go down to the Urban Onion before I went to school.
Our order never, ever changed. Papa: a triple tall no room americano. Me: vanilla steamer. Share: The most amazing apple pie you can possibly imagine (this is in fact the pie that Ricky and I shared for our wedding "cake".)Sean, our faithful waiter would have everything ready for us within minutes of seeing us park our little fannies in a seat. Add in a snooze inducing fire and Aslan...you have the perfect morning.
I probably don't have to tell you that the Chronicles of Narnia are and always will be on my top 5 list of favorite books largely because of the precious times with my Papa. When I found out that I was pregnant with Em I was so excited for the day when I could share these stories with her (and obviously now Eli:)
About 2 weeks ago I decided to start reading more than Green Eggs and Ham to the babes before they go to sleep. So of course I pulled down my trusty copies of C.S Lewis' masterpiece. I figured they would still be way over Em's head but that it would be fun (at least for me!) to try.
Poor Eli, he just doesn't have a chance! 4 pages in every night he is face down and drooling into his pillow. But Em has really surprised me. She sits totally still right next to me and LISTENS! Wonder of wonders. Not only does she listen, she actually asks questions. "Why did he shut the door mommy?" "Why did she say that?" "Why was that mean?"
Em doesn't even argure about bed time anymore. I think she is just as excited as I am to settle in and crack open the book. We are only reading one chapter a night at this point, and we have started with the Magician's Nephew.
I love that I now get to share my favorite stories with my favorite babies. And I would be lying if I said I didn't just burst a **little** bit with pride that my 3 year old listens, engages in, and understands the Chronicles of Narnia.
Not only did we read at night, once a week we went out to breakfast. We would get up super early to go down to the Urban Onion before I went to school.
Our order never, ever changed. Papa: a triple tall no room americano. Me: vanilla steamer. Share: The most amazing apple pie you can possibly imagine (this is in fact the pie that Ricky and I shared for our wedding "cake".)Sean, our faithful waiter would have everything ready for us within minutes of seeing us park our little fannies in a seat. Add in a snooze inducing fire and Aslan...you have the perfect morning.
I probably don't have to tell you that the Chronicles of Narnia are and always will be on my top 5 list of favorite books largely because of the precious times with my Papa. When I found out that I was pregnant with Em I was so excited for the day when I could share these stories with her (and obviously now Eli:)
About 2 weeks ago I decided to start reading more than Green Eggs and Ham to the babes before they go to sleep. So of course I pulled down my trusty copies of C.S Lewis' masterpiece. I figured they would still be way over Em's head but that it would be fun (at least for me!) to try.
Poor Eli, he just doesn't have a chance! 4 pages in every night he is face down and drooling into his pillow. But Em has really surprised me. She sits totally still right next to me and LISTENS! Wonder of wonders. Not only does she listen, she actually asks questions. "Why did he shut the door mommy?" "Why did she say that?" "Why was that mean?"
Em doesn't even argure about bed time anymore. I think she is just as excited as I am to settle in and crack open the book. We are only reading one chapter a night at this point, and we have started with the Magician's Nephew.
I love that I now get to share my favorite stories with my favorite babies. And I would be lying if I said I didn't just burst a **little** bit with pride that my 3 year old listens, engages in, and understands the Chronicles of Narnia.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
No thanks, I got it.
Trust. Allowing someone else to be in cotrol. Relaxing. Not my strong points! I am much happier doing it all myself because then I KNOW things will work and everything will go to plan. And once I get things running smoothly don't you DARE suggest a change or express dissatisfaction. Because I will explode, most likely taking you out in the fireball of fury.
Problem: I am human. I don't know all and see all like I sometimes wish I could. I HAVE to trust God that he has it all in is hands and works all things together for his Glory. I misunderstand that verse on puprose a lot of times. His Glory can only come from the good, right? So wrong! Glory is more brilliant shining from the dark than from the sunshine of easy days.
Letting Ricky take the lead on things is SO hard for me. Suffice is to say that our views on financial issues and methods are so polar opposite that compromise can be excruciating to reach. If I really want to I can steam roll him, which is so wrong! There is no blessing or covering from God in that. I have to remind myself constantly that even if Ricky makes the wrond decision God will protect us if I am honoring my husband. Life is a learning process. My head knows what I should do, but my anxiety level screams "NO NO NO!!!! What is he DOING?"
So, stupid Hannah is tryng to cash in on the doulbe promise and blessing. Trust God: He knows, and he works it to his Glory (which will go good for me in the end. Trust the man I love: Right or wrong God will honor my obedience.
On a completly side note: Th rain that is sprinkling agains my window right now just makes the world seem oh so much better. Have a lovely day friends, He is working it out for the good of those who love him :)
Problem: I am human. I don't know all and see all like I sometimes wish I could. I HAVE to trust God that he has it all in is hands and works all things together for his Glory. I misunderstand that verse on puprose a lot of times. His Glory can only come from the good, right? So wrong! Glory is more brilliant shining from the dark than from the sunshine of easy days.
Letting Ricky take the lead on things is SO hard for me. Suffice is to say that our views on financial issues and methods are so polar opposite that compromise can be excruciating to reach. If I really want to I can steam roll him, which is so wrong! There is no blessing or covering from God in that. I have to remind myself constantly that even if Ricky makes the wrond decision God will protect us if I am honoring my husband. Life is a learning process. My head knows what I should do, but my anxiety level screams "NO NO NO!!!! What is he DOING?"
So, stupid Hannah is tryng to cash in on the doulbe promise and blessing. Trust God: He knows, and he works it to his Glory (which will go good for me in the end. Trust the man I love: Right or wrong God will honor my obedience.
On a completly side note: Th rain that is sprinkling agains my window right now just makes the world seem oh so much better. Have a lovely day friends, He is working it out for the good of those who love him :)
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