Having a baby

It's so funny to me that in my day to day life I don't put much though into the days beyond my immediate future. Sure I may have things on the calendar for a month or two down the road but they don't even pop up on my radar until a week or so before the event. I like to plan certain aspects (when to pay what bills, etc.) but for the most part I like to go with the flow.

However, my mind is consumed with August. In a much different way than with my other two pregnancies though. Right now I am about 14 and half weeks along which boggles my mind. Time seems to be flying by at warp speed. Each week I tick off on the calendar I think to myself, "Holy crap, how is this going by so quickly?!" Not that I am complaining; it is just SO different from my other two "when will this end" sort of pregnancies.

So back to explaining my not of the ordinart pre-occupation with August. With Em I went into labor at 39 weeks and 3 days; an unexpected blessing as I was so done at that point. Becuase my little lady was built like an NFL quarterback with shoulders much larger than her head (shoulder distotia) and the shape we were both in post delivery (Em with a broken collar bone thanks to my hips and my hips having both been dislocated to get her out) my Dr. felt the need to induce Eli. Emma was a total anomally. Statistcially shoulder distotia is generally only a problem in babies over 10 pounds, she was a chunky 8lbs 4oz. My Dr. was concerned that if I went full term or over with E the chances of repeat distotia would be pretty good. So at 38 weeks we met our little Man, all 8lbs and perfectly proportioned shoulders of him.

This time around I am so torn; I know myself and most likely by August 17th I will be so ready to be done. My experience with induction was wonderful. My body really likes the whole contractions, laboring, having a baby thing. Add a little pitocin and the Dr. better have a baseball mit to catch that baby! On the other hand there is this odd little part of me that (God only knows why) wants to wait it out and see what my body does on it's own. There is something so exciting about feeling that first contradtion spontaneously and thinking "this is it!"

I plan on talking to my Dr. at our next. appt. At this point he has already said that he is comfortable inducing again at 38 weeks. I haven't really given anything else much though simply because how scarey Em's delivery was. Granted Eli slipped out like a little pickle (really, Em probably blew things so wide open I could deliver a baby elephant at this point), but what if? Is my personal desire to see if I can do it really worth putting myself and baby at (potential) risk? It ain't no joke; cerebral palsy and death are very real complications of shoulder distotia.

I don't know. Ideally we will schedule an induction for 38 weeks and I will manage to walk and ummm...do enough other labor inducing things to bring baby naturally right before my induction! Perfect right? Sigh...

I guess it really comes down to what the doc says. Obviously I don't have petite babies so chances are this one will keep up the growth curve.

Who knows! Good thing I have...6? 5 months? See, I don't even have any idea how much longer I have to figure this out. 3rd pregnancies are so weird.

Talk it out Tuesday

In an effort to get myself blogging more regularly I am goint to start what I'll call "Talk it out Tuesday". Sometimes I imagine my brain like air traffic control. Thousands of plans clogging up air space with no where to land because I don't have time to direct them to a landing spot. So hopefully putting those random thoughts down here will clear my brain space a bit. Sometimes it will be purposeful, sometime not. Basically it will be the most random compilation of crap that floats through my brain but hey, maybe it will get me into a rythm:)

• Emma broke her collar bone this last friday. She fel literally less than 2 feet off our ottoman. Being the parents of the year that we are we waited all the way until saturday evening to take her into the ER. Really, we were positive it was just a sore/strained neck. She wasn't acting weird, sobbing uncontrollably, she just acted stiff. WHen she woke up from her nap at 4 on Saturday Ricky tried to pull her off the top bunk and she broke into "the world is ending" tears. After begging us to just leave her in bed for 5 minutes I made the executive decision that it was time to get things looked at. Poor baby girl. She is now rocking a super sweet orthopaedic brace.


• You know what's even worse than having your baby break her collar bone for the first time? Having it be the second. Yup, this would be clavicular fracture numero dos. It broke the first time at birth.


• This pregnancy is so unlike my other two. I literally cannot find the mental or physical energy to do much beyond sit on the couch and cuddle with the kids until I have to get ready for work. I finally drag myself into the shower 45 minutes before we need to leave and somehow manage to make it to work on time. After working (trust me, it feels like a lot longer...) 5-6 hours I come home DONE with life and collaps back onto the couch until crawling into bed somehwere around 8. Unless it's Monday then I have to stay up and watch the Bachelor.


• Speaking of the Bachelor, anyone else feel the need to slap Courtney? Or am I the only teenager that still gets sucked into this malarkey? ... maybe don't answer that.


• My office was closed yesterday (presidents you rock) and I decided to take today off as well to make it a nice even 4 days off in a row. Bliss! However I have a feeling that it is really not in any way shape or form helping me to buckle down and keep working for the next few months. In fact I can prety confidently say that my need to be a stay at home mama fever has quadrupled since Friday. Oh well.

There you have it! Captivating, life changing; you're welcome.

Just don't call me late for dinner

More than any other part of having a baby, naming always weighs heavily on my mind. Everything else I am pretty chill about. You can't control gender, wether baby may or may not be born with complications, and the biggest of all: when baby will come! Too much to stress about if you ask me. But picking a name? Geez. I always have this secret fear that we will choose the name, tell everyone and then completly end up hating it once the baby is here. To be honest I had serious doubts the first 24 hours of her life that Em was really an Emma. Obviously I got over it :) I remember thinking though that I wished we hadn't told people our names so that if we wanted to adjust last minute we would be free to do so. I didn't follow my own advice with Eli, but he was Mr. E from day one so it worked out. This time around we are definitely keeping the name a surprise! I think it will be so fun.

At the moment, Ricky is going to be finding out the gender. I am on the fence still about knowing. And yes, he will be able to keep it from me and everyone else...he's just good like that. In the evenet that I do decide (in a moment of hormonal weakness) that I HAVE to know then he will have some special way of telling me (really that's the biggest reason I want to find out. I think it would be so cute to see what he comes up with to surprise me).

It's so funny to get different family memeber's reactions to hearing that **gasp** they won't be involved in the naming of our child. "What if it's a dumb name?" " What if everyone hates it once you tell us?" Those at the moment are my two favorite arguments against the secrecy :) They all seem to be okay with not knowing the gender because, well obviously they already know what baby is. But not telling them our name choices? That is too much! The really stubborn part of me loves it.

This time around our middle name choices were a breeze. I think we actually decided them before I was even pregnant! Obviously if we end up loving a name that doesn't work with our middle choice we will change it. But I am 99% positive we have them nailed down. They are both taken from family memebers and for different reasons will both be really special

First names have proved more challenging but I think we may be getting close. Our favorite boy name wasn't too difficult. I won't say it's for sure but unless something really grabs our attention I think we have a winner. We have 2 girls names that we both really like, but we are still leaving the field open. I'm still trying to decide if I love that way our number 1 choice flows. Its totally one of those oldey but goodies that could work...or flop. Have you ever perused the list of "E" names in a baby book? 80% of them are just ridiculous and the other 15% are so outdated (not in the new "hip" way) that I just couldn't do that to a child. That leaves a pretty slim 5% to choose from! We aren't dead set on having an "E" name. But my theory is that if we don't choose another "E" then this third child will be the convict hoodlum who reflects, "It all began when my parents didn't love me enough to choose an "E" name..."

Overly dramatic? Always.

The worst part is that we didn't intend to start this whole band wagon in the first place. We fell in love with the name Eli. After thinking about it for a few months we announced it to the fam and then realized what we had started. See, once again telling the name in advance bites us in the butt.

So, who knows. This baby may end up continuing the streak...or we may end up with Emma, Eli and Paisley. And you'll have to wait unitl August to find out if I am serious about that one or not!

Jumping In

So, I could spend un-ending hours explaining life for the last year or so to you. But really? I'm tired. I'm over it. And there are so many more worthwhile things to talk about :)
I'm sitting on the couch tonight realizing something: This is my baby.
For a long time now it has been everyone else's pregnancy, everyone else's new baby. Fun and exciting but not mine.
8 months. That is how long this baby was in the making. And really? I can't complain. I have dear, dear friends who have been knee deep in pregnancy sorrow and defeat for more than a year. But dear God, every month that test came back negative was a bone crushing defeat. A little more bitter, another layer of "I don't really care" to protect the ache, another "I knew I wasn't anyway" lie to make it through the day. So unexpected, confusing.
On Chrismas Eve when I saw that second little line my heart stopped. And then started beating for the first time in a really. long. time.
Sure there has ben excitment but tonight, something has clicked. It started with a teether, random no? I saw an add for a cute little teether and thought, "huh, I hope I remember where to find that when I need one." And then, BAM! It hit me: I can buy that. This little bump that is stubbornly breaking down my will power to not wear anything but normal clothing yet will be here in 7-ish months. It's mine, my baby, my bean, my bumpkin,my life-sucking dear baby Jesus I have never been this sick sweet pea. Not a new nephew, not a dear friend's precious angel.
I'm terrified. 3? That's no joke. I'm awed. I'm just starting to grasp that baby really. is. there. And sometime in August I get to hold him, squeeze him, kiss his perfect little nose.
And girls? I can't wait.

PS: Family and close friends know and I feel like it is time to start documenting life again so I am going to chance putting the news on this forum. We aren't in hididng (obviously I wouldn't be posting this if that were so!) but for the most part we aren't proclaiming it from the mountain tops yet. If you are one of the cherished few to read this then I am so excited to share it with you :) But please let the word spread slowly beyond these pages.